Phrasal verb
Grow apart
What does 'grow apart' mean?
'Grow apart' means to become gradually less close to someone over time, usually because life, interests, schedules, or distance change. For example: 'Nina and I grew apart after moving to different cities.' Use 'from' when naming the other person: 'He has grown apart from his old friends.'
Key points
- 'Grow apart' describes a slow loss of closeness.
- The phrase usually describes relationships between people.
- Use 'from' when naming the other person.
- Use 'grew' for a finished past period.
Can you use "Grow apart" yourself?
This lesson has 5 stages. You can stop at any time and continue later.
Stage 1 of 5
Understand
What it means, when to use it, and mistakes to avoid.
The full explanation
To grow apart means to become gradually less close in a relationship over time. It describes a slow drift in emotional connection, usually because interests, schedules, or locations have changed.
Elena and Marco were close roommates in college, but they grew apart after graduation.
Why it works: Grew apart shows that their friendship faded slowly as their post-college routines diverged.
2 more examples
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I worried that my brother and I might grow apart when he accepted a job in Tokyo.
Grow apart expresses the concern of losing emotional closeness across long physical distance.
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Over several busy years, Marcus had grown apart from his childhood neighbors.
The past participle grown apart pairs with from to identify the specific people Marcus became less close to.
Read the full guide
Decide if Distance Happened Gradually
When two people spend less time together, you must decide whether the change happened instantly or unfolded over months. The verb grow indicates development across a timeline. If two coworkers simply stopped talking because their projects split and their schedules differed, their emotional bond eroded naturally. You choose grow apart to describe this quiet separation without assigning blame.
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After college ended, Sam and David slowly grew apart.
Why it works: The distance took months to develop as their daily routines changed.
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We never fought, but our separate careers caused us to grow apart.
Why it works: Independent career demands gradually created personal distance.
Your turn
Which situation is best described by the phrase grow apart?
Answer: Two childhood friends message each other less often over five years as their interests diverge.
Show the answer
Answer: Two childhood friends message each other less often over five years as their interests diverge.
Grow apart describes a gradual loss of connection over a long period rather than a sudden dispute or single breaking point.
Distinguish Slow Drift from Sudden Breakups
Learners often confuse growing apart with active conflict or romantic breakups. A breakup is an explicit decision to end a partnership, frequently marked by a clear conversation or sudden argument. In contrast, growing apart is an unannounced drift. Neither person necessarily wants the friendship to fade, yet shared experiences decrease until the original intimacy disappears.
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They did not have a dramatic breakup; they simply grew apart over a quiet decade.
Why it works: Contrasts a formal ending with an unannounced, gradual cooling of the bond.
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I expected an angry dispute, but instead we just grew apart.
Why it works: Shows the absence of hostility or sudden conflict.
This also comes up in Show off and Look up to.
Your turn
Why is it incorrect to say that a couple grew apart during an hour of heated shouting?
Answer: Because growing apart describes a gradual process over time, not a sudden argument.
Show the answer
Answer: Because growing apart describes a gradual process over time, not a sudden argument.
The verb grow highlights change that unfolds gradually across weeks, months, or years, unlike a sudden argument.
Select Grew Apart or Grown Apart
Because grow is an irregular verb, you must choose between grew and grown depending on your clause structure. Use grew apart for finished events linked to a definite past time frame. Choose have grown apart or had grown apart when connecting the drifting process to the present moment or to another earlier past event.
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My former tennis partner and I grew apart during our final year at school.
Why it works: Simple past grew marks a finished period in the past.
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I realize that we have grown apart since we started working in different departments.
Why it works: Present perfect have grown connects past drift with current reality.
Your turn
Complete the sentence: 'By the time Lisa returned to her hometown, she and her old classmates _____ apart.'
Answer: had grown
Show the answer
Answer: had grown
The past perfect had grown is required here to show that the distance developed before another past event occurred.
Connect a Person Using From
When a plural subject drifts, no preposition is needed because the two parties are already named together. However, if your sentence focuses on a single person drifting away, you introduce the other party with from. Avoid using with, to, or against after apart. The preposition from clearly indicates the point of origin from which emotional distance developed.
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Over the decade, Kevin had grown apart from his university circle.
Why it works: From links the singular subject Kevin to the group he drifted away from.
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She felt that she was growing apart from her sister as their opinions shifted.
Why it works: From establishes the person with whom the connection weakened.
Your turn
Which preposition correctly links the subject to the other individual: 'He grew apart _____ his mentor'?
Answer: from
Show the answer
Answer: from
From is the only standard preposition used with grow apart when specifying the person who became distant.
Keep the Verb Intransitive
A frequent error among intermediate learners is placing a direct object between grow and apart. You cannot grow someone apart, nor can external circumstances grow two people apart in natural English. The verb is strictly intransitive. If you wish to mention an external cause, express it as a subject that caused people to grow apart or as an adverbial clause.
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Distance and demanding work caused the cousins to grow apart.
Why it works: Cause is followed by an object and infinitive; grow apart remains intransitive.
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They grew apart because both traveled constantly for business.
Why it works: The external cause is stated in a separate subordinate clause.
Your turn
Which sentence uses grow apart correctly without introducing an ungrammatical direct object?
Answer: Busy schedules caused them to grow apart after five years.
Show the answer
Answer: Busy schedules caused them to grow apart after five years.
Grow apart cannot take a direct object. Using caused them to grow apart correctly keeps grow apart intransitive.
Choose Between Grow Apart and Grow Away
You may occasionally encounter grow away alongside grow apart. While both express developing distance, grow away almost always requires from and often highlights personal maturation away from an environment, family tradition, or childhood influence. Grow apart is far more common for equal peer relationships such as friends, romantic partners, or colleagues who slowly diverge.
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During his twenties, Arthur grew away from the strict religious values of his village.
Why it works: Grow away from highlights personal departure from a background or community.
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Arthur and his childhood companions simply grew apart.
Why it works: Grow apart describes reciprocal emotional distance between peers.
Your turn
When describing two close colleagues whose friendship faded naturally, which choice is most idiomatic?
Answer: They grew apart over the year.
Show the answer
Answer: They grew apart over the year.
Grow apart is the standard phrase for describing mutual emotional distance between peers over time.
Catch the Verb in Rapid Speech
In natural conversation, native speakers stress the second syllable of apart rather than grow. In the past tense, grew ends with a smooth vowel sound that glides directly into the unstressed initial syllable of apart. Because apart ends in a soft stop consonant, listeners often miss the final sound before vowels or pauses. Recognizing this smooth connection prevents confusion with grow a part.
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We grew apart over time.
Why it works: The final vowel of grew connects smoothly to the unstressed initial vowel of apart.
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They had grown apart before reuniting.
Why it works: The nasal sound at the end of grown links directly to the first syllable of apart.
Your turn
Where does the primary stress fall when a speaker pronounces the phrase grow apart in fluent speech?
Answer: On the second syllable of apart.
Show the answer
Answer: On the second syllable of apart.
In the particle apart, primary lexical stress falls on the second syllable.
Describe Personal Distance with Tact
In professional contexts, personal emails, or reflective essays, you often need to explain why an old collaboration or friendship ceased without sounding bitter. Stating that someone abandoned you sounds accusatory. Using grow apart frames the change as a natural outcome of changing life stages, preserves mutual respect, and focuses on evolving paths rather than individual failings.
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Although our artistic styles grew apart, I still respect his creative vision.
Why it works: Politely acknowledges divergence while maintaining professional esteem.
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We grew apart as our professional responsibilities pulled us toward separate industries.
Why it works: Attributes distance to external schedules rather than bad character.
Your turn
Why is grow apart effective in a polite letter about an old personal connection?
Answer: It acknowledges natural distance without placing blame or accusing anyone of bad behavior.
Show the answer
Answer: It acknowledges natural distance without placing blame or accusing anyone of bad behavior.
Grow apart describes fading closeness neutrally and respectfully, making it suitable for tactful communication.
Other meanings of "grow apart"
This lesson practises one meaning. You may also hear these.
For groups to develop increasingly different views or aims.
The two factions grew apart during negotiations.
Common mistakes with "grow apart"
What learners often say, what to say instead, and why.
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Not this:
We grew apart with our old neighbours.Say: We grew apart from our old neighbours.
Use 'from', not 'with', when naming the person or group someone became distant from.
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Not this:
Busy schedules grew us apart.Say: Busy schedules caused us to grow apart.
'Grow apart' is intransitive and cannot take a direct object.
-
Not this:
They grow apart last year.Say: They grew apart last year.
Use the simple past 'grew' for a finished event in the past.
-
Not this:
By then, we have grown apart.Say: By then, we had grown apart.
Use past perfect 'had grown' for an earlier change before another past event.
Use it naturally
How people really use “grow apart”
Neutral Fine almost anywhere, at work or with friends.
Words it often goes with
- gradually grow apartPeople can gradually grow apart when they stop spending time together.
- grow apart fromI don't want to grow apart from my sister.
- grow apart over timeEven close friends can grow apart over time.
What people also say
- “We grew apart.” instead of “Our relationship became less close over time.” This is a short, natural way to describe a slow change.
Questions about "Grow apart"
Can grow apart describe an official romantic breakup?
Grow apart describes the gradual emotional distance leading up to a decision, but it does not mean the formal ending itself. A couple may grow apart over several months, which eventually leads them to break up. Break up names the explicit separation, whereas grow apart names the slow loss of connection.
They grew apart over two quiet years before deciding to break up.
Growing apart does not always end in an official breakup.
Can I say 'I grew apart with someone' instead of 'from someone'?
No. Standard English requires the preposition from when naming the individual after grow apart. Saying grew apart with someone is an error. The preposition from clearly identifies the person you drifted away from.
She realized she had grown apart from her mentor.
Over time, he grew apart from his childhood peer group.
Can objects, organizations, or places grow apart?
Grow apart is almost exclusively used for personal connections between human beings, such as friends, relatives, partners, or coworkers. Occasionally, speakers use it metaphorically for allied groups whose viewpoints diverge, but physical objects or buildings cannot grow apart.
The two political factions grew apart as negotiations stalled.
Close colleagues often grow apart when their departments separate.
Does growing apart mean two people can never reconnect?
Not necessarily. Grow apart simply describes past or ongoing drift. Because the phrase carries no anger or hatred, two people who grew apart can easily reconnect later if their paths cross again. It leaves the door open for future friendship.
Even though we grew apart in college, we reconnected easily at the reunion.
People who grew apart often discover common ground years later.
Before you go
Remember this
Use grow apart to describe a slow, natural decrease in closeness between people. Pair it with the preposition from when you name the specific person who drifted away.
Stage 2 of 5
Listen
Hear it in real sentences, from short to long, and write what you hear.
0 of 4 done
Listening 1 of 4
Listen, then type what you hear. Replay as often as you need.
0:00
- I worried that my brother and I might grow apart when he accepted a job in Tokyo.
- Over several busy years, Marcus had grown apart from his childhood neighbors.
Read the transcript
Close friends sometimes grow apart easily.
Grow apart describes natural drift. Notice the smooth transition between the base verb and the particle.
Listen for
At natural speed these words change shape. Tap one to hear it again.
- In American English this t sounds like a quick, soft d.
Listen for
At natural speed these words change shape. Tap one to hear it again.
- listen for "apar-teasily": the final t in "apart" connects to the start of "easily".
Listen for
At natural speed these words change shape. Tap one to hear it again.
- In American English this t sounds like a quick, soft d.
Listening 2 of 4
Listen, then type what you hear. Replay as often as you need.
0:00
- I worried that my brother and I might grow apart when he accepted a job in Tokyo.
- Over several busy years, Marcus had grown apart from his childhood neighbors.
Read the transcript
My cousins grew apart after college.
Grew apart is the simple past form, showing that the gradual separation concluded in the past.
Listen for
At natural speed these words change shape. Tap one to hear it again.
- The last sound of the first word runs straight into the next word.
Listen for
At natural speed these words change shape. Tap one to hear it again.
- The last sound of the first word runs straight into the next word.
Try a longer clip. Listen once, then replay the part you missed.
Listening 3 of 4
Listen, then type what you hear. Replay as often as you need.
0:00
- I worried that my brother and I might grow apart when he accepted a job in Tokyo.
- Over several busy years, Marcus had grown apart from his childhood neighbors.
Read the transcript
We shared an office for several years, but we grew apart after our company opened a branch in Chicago.
The speaker links the past drift to a corporate relocation without expressing any resentment.
Listen for
At natural speed these words change shape. Tap one to hear it again.
- The last sound of the first word runs straight into the next word.
- The last sound of the first word runs straight into the next word.
- listen for "apar-tafter": the final t in "apart" connects to the start of "after".
Listen for
At natural speed these words change shape. Tap one to hear it again.
- The last sound of the first word runs straight into the next word.
- The last sound of the first word runs straight into the next word.
- listen for "apar-tafter": the final t in "apart" connects to the start of "after".
Listen for
At natural speed these words change shape. Tap one to hear it again.
- The last sound of the first word runs straight into the next word.
- The last sound of the first word runs straight into the next word.
- listen for "apar-tafter": the final t in "apart" connects to the start of "after".
This clip is longer. Follow the instruction above the answer field.
Listening 4 of 4
Listen, then type the missing words. The rest of the text is already there.
0:00
- I worried that my brother and I might grow apart when he accepted a job in Tokyo.
- Over several busy years, Marcus had grown apart from his childhood neighbors.
Read the transcript
My brother and I grew apart over several busy seasons after we finished our studies. He accepted an engineering post in Seattle, while I began teaching in Miami. We never argued or exchanged harsh remarks, yet our calls dwindled because our working schedules were completely opposite. People often grow apart, especially when major life choices alter their daily paths, but genuine mutual respect can always survive.
This extended reflection uses both past and present forms of grow apart to describe a personal experience and draw a broader life lesson.
Listen for
At natural speed these words change shape. Tap one to hear it again.
- The last sound of the first word runs straight into the next word.
- The last sound of the first word runs straight into the next word.
- listen for "apar-tover": the final t in "apart" connects to the start of "over".
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Save my progressStage 3 of 5
Speak
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Close friends sometimes grow apart easily.
Play the line slowly, then speak at the same time as the speaker. Copy the rhythm, not just the words.
Your turn
Say it your way
Imagine your sister is moving to another city next month. Speak for 30 to 60 seconds from memory about a plan to stay close. Explain what you could do together from different cities and how you would manage busy weeks.
Use: grow apart
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Hear how someone else might say it
My sister is moving to another city next month, and I don't want us to grow apart. We both love cooking, so we could choose one recipe each week and make it while talking on a video call. Sunday evening would probably work best. During busy weeks, we could send short messages or photos instead. I wouldn't expect her to answer right away because she will have a lot to do. I'd also like to visit her once she feels comfortable in her new home.
Try once more and answer this: What activity would you both enjoy doing online?
Stage 4 of 5
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Put it in your own words
- I used “grow apart”.
- It is about my life, not the lesson’s example.
- I read it once aloud to check it sounds right.
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