Micro-listening
He and I, Him and Me: Planning a Community Lunch
When should I use he and I or him and me?
Use 'he and I' when the pair is the subject, and 'him and me' when the pair is an object after a verb or preposition. For example, 'He and I packed the bags,' but 'The manager thanked him and me.' Check each pronoun separately, and use plural verbs with 'he and I'.
Key points
- 'He and I' are subject forms for two people.
- 'Him and me' are object forms after verbs.
- Prepositions such as 'to' and 'for' need object forms.
- Use 'are', 'were' and 'have' with 'he and I'.
This lesson has 5 stages. You can stop at any time and continue later.
At a glance
| Form | Use it for | Example |
|---|---|---|
| he and I | Subject of an action or description | He and I organised the food. |
| him and me | Object after a verb | The chef thanked him and me. |
| him and me | Object after a preposition | There is a message for him and me. |
Stage 1 of 5
Understand
What it means, when to use it, and mistakes to avoid.
The full explanation
He and I are subject forms: He and I carried the chairs. Him and me are object forms: The organiser thanked him and me. Both pronouns must fit their job in the sentence.
He and I are making soup for the lunch.
Why it works: Both people are the subject of are making.
2 more examples
-
The organiser asked him and me to arrive early.
Both people are objects of asked.
-
There are clean aprons for him and me.
After for, both pronouns take object forms.
Read the full guide
The same people can have different jobs
Imagine that Ben is your neighbour. Once your listener knows who Ben is, you can call him he or him. When you describe something you both do, use he and I. When someone helps, invites or thanks the two of you, use him and me. The choice shows your job in that sentence.
-
He and I prepared the room, and the organiser thanked him and me.
Why it works: The same pair first does an action, then receives thanks.
Your turn
Which sentence correctly describes the pair doing something?
Answer: He and I washed the cups.
Show the answer
Answer: He and I washed the cups.
The pair is the subject of washed, so both pronouns need subject forms.
Build a subject with he and I
A subject tells us who or what the sentence is about. It often names the person doing an action, but it can also describe a state: he and I are tired. A pair needs a plural verb where the form changes. Use are, were and have with he and I, rather than is, was and has.
-
He and I have enough plates, but we are short of bowls.
Why it works: Have agrees with the pair; we can refer to that pair afterwards.
You can practise this again in He and I at the Cooking Class and And I or and me: how to choose.
Your turn
Complete the message: He and I ___ ready to serve.
Answer: are
Show the answer
Answer: are
He and I means two people, so the correct verb is are.
Use him and me after verbs
When another person calls or chooses the pair, the pair is the object of that verb. Use him and me. Changing only I to me is not enough: he must change to him too. Notice the whole relationship, rather than simply choosing a phrase because it comes near the end of a sentence.
-
Rosa chose him and me to welcome the guests.
Why it works: Rosa does the choosing; him and me names the people she chooses.
Your turn
Complete the sentence: The photographer called ___.
Answer: him and me
Show the answer
Answer: him and me
Both people are objects of called, so use him and me.
Listen for with, for, to and between
Small words such as with, for, to and between connect people to the rest of a message. These words are prepositions. When the pair follows one, use him and me. This rule is useful even when nobody receives an action: a table can stand between two people, and a plan can work for them.
-
Rosa left a box of napkins between him and me.
Why it works: Between needs the object forms him and me.
Your turn
Which phrase completes: There are two seats for ___?
Answer: him and me
Show the answer
Answer: him and me
For is a preposition, so both pronouns take object forms.
Check one person at a time
If you are unsure, temporarily make two shorter sentences. From Rosa invited the pair, try Rosa invited him and Rosa invited me. Both work, so join him and me. Check both pronouns, not just the final one. When checking a subject with be, adjust the verb too: he is ready and I am ready become he and I are ready.
-
The cook gave him and me a small job.
Why it works: The cook gave him a job and gave me a job both work.
Your turn
Which two short checks support Rosa waited for him and me?
Answer: Rosa waited for him. Rosa waited for me.
Show the answer
Answer: Rosa waited for him. Rosa waited for me.
Both shorter sentences use the object form required after for.
Do not choose I just to sound polite
I is not automatically more polite or more suitable for a work message than me. Its job decides whether it fits. Likewise, putting yourself last does not repair the wrong forms. You may hear me and him used as a subject in casual conversation, but practise he and I for standard writing and the exercises here.
-
Please send the kitchen instructions to him and me.
Why it works: Me is correct in this polite request because it follows to.
Your turn
Which sentence fits a carefully written request?
Answer: Please reply to him and me.
Show the answer
Answer: Please reply to him and me.
Politeness does not change the grammar: to needs object forms.
Recover quiet words while listening
In everyday speech, and is often short and quiet. Him may also have a very weak h sound. First listen for the action and any preposition, then listen again for the pronouns around and. I has a moving vowel sound, while me ends with a long ee sound. During dictation, write the words actually spoken.
-
Could you leave the keys with him and me?
Why it works: With helps you predict object forms; another listen confirms the actual words.
Your turn
What should you do when and sounds very quiet?
Answer: Listen again for the words on both sides of it.
Show the answer
Answer: Listen again for the words on both sides of it.
A quiet word is still part of the message and belongs in the dictation.
Keep references clear in short messages
In a short message, name the other person before using he or him if your reader does not know who you mean. Once the pair is clear, we and us can prevent repetition. For recall practice, cover an example, remember who does what, and rebuild it. In a writing task, create your own message instead of copying a transcript.
-
Ben is helping tomorrow; he and I will arrange the tables, so please save two aprons for us.
Why it works: Ben makes he clear, and us refers back to the same pair.
Your turn
Which opening makes he clear to a reader who has no background information?
Answer: My neighbour Ben is coming. He and I can help.
Show the answer
Answer: My neighbour Ben is coming. He and I can help.
The message introduces Ben before referring to him as he.
Common mistakes
What learners often say, what to say instead, and why.
-
Not this:
Him and me prepared the sandwiches.Say: He and I prepared the sandwiches.
The pair is doing the action, so both pronouns need subject forms.
-
Not this:
The organiser invited he and me.Say: The organiser invited him and me.
Both people receive the action of invited, so use object forms.
-
Not this:
He and I is ready to leave.Say: He and I are ready to leave.
He and I refers to two people, so the verb must be plural.
Use it naturally
How people really use “He and I”
Neutral Fine almost anywhere, at work or with friends.
Words it often goes with
- He and I canHe and I can help you clean the kitchen.
- He and I willHe and I will meet you after class.
- He and I areHe and I are learning to swim.
- for him and meShe saved two seats for him and me.
- with him and meYou can practice with him and me.
Questions about "He and I, Him and Me: Planning a Community Lunch"
Why is he and me wrong after a verb such as invited?
In standard English, both pronouns must be object forms when they are objects of invited. Me already has the correct form, but he must become him. Check each person separately: invited him and invited me.
Our neighbour invited him and me for coffee.
Does the rule change if I use a person's name?
The pronoun rule stays the same, but a name does not change form. Use a name and I as a subject, or a name and me as an object. Temporarily remove the name to check your choice.
Ben and I bought some bread.
The baker gave Ben and me a paper bag.
Can I use we and us instead of repeating the pair?
Yes, if your listener knows which people you mean. We is a subject form, and us is an object form. Naming the pair first often makes a longer message easier to follow.
He and I will clean the room, and we will lock the door afterwards.
Please leave the cleaning supplies for us.
Why do I use he and I in He and I are tired?
A subject does not always perform a visible action. It can name the people being described. In this sentence, are tired describes the pair, so use subject forms and the plural verb are.
He and I are hungry after the walk.
Before you go
Remember this
Use he and I as the subject, and him and me as the object of a verb or preposition. Check each pronoun separately. In listening, recover the actual words; in writing, make the people and their roles clear.
Stage 2 of 5
Listen
Hear it in real sentences, from short to long, and write what you hear.
0 of 4 done
Listening 1 of 4
Listen, then type what you hear. Replay as often as you need.
0:00
Read the transcript
He and I can carry these chairs outside.
He and I is the subject of can carry. Write the complete spoken offer.
Listen for
At natural speed these words change shape. Tap one to hear it again.
- The last sound of the first word runs straight into the next word.
- The last sound of the first word runs straight into the next word.
- In 'He and I,' listen for a short 'n' sound in 'and.'
Listen for
At natural speed these words change shape. Tap one to hear it again.
- The last sound of the first word runs straight into the next word.
- The last sound of the first word runs straight into the next word.
- In 'He and I,' listen for a short 'n' sound in 'and.'
Listen for
At natural speed these words change shape. Tap one to hear it again.
- The last sound of the first word runs straight into the next word.
- The last sound of the first word runs straight into the next word.
- A small word like this is said quickly and softly, not as written.
Listening 2 of 4
Listen, then type what you hear. Replay as often as you need.
0:00
Read the transcript
Please leave two clean aprons for him and me.
For introduces the pair, so the speaker uses him and me.
Listen for
At natural speed these words change shape. Tap one to hear it again.
- The last sound of the first word runs straight into the next word.
- In 'him and,' listen for 'hi-mand,' with the final m joining the next word.
- In 'and me,' listen for 'an(d) me.' The d may be hard to hear.
Listen for
At natural speed these words change shape. Tap one to hear it again.
- The last sound of the first word runs straight into the next word.
- In 'him and,' listen for 'hi-mand,' with the final m joining the next word.
- In 'and me,' listen for 'an(d) me.' The d may be hard to hear.
Listen for
At natural speed these words change shape. Tap one to hear it again.
- The last sound of the first word runs straight into the next word.
- In 'him and,' listen for 'hi-mand,' with the final m joining the next word.
- In 'and me,' listen for 'an(d) me.' The d may be hard to hear.
Try a longer clip. Listen once, then replay the part you missed.
Listening 3 of 4
Listen, then type what you hear. Replay as often as you need.
0:00
Read the transcript
Ben is at the bakery. He and I will bring the bread, so please ask someone else to buy the milk.
He refers to Ben. He and I names the people bringing bread, while someone else should buy milk.
Listen for
At natural speed these words change shape. Tap one to hear it again.
- The last sound of the first word runs straight into the next word.
- The last sound of the first word runs straight into the next word.
- In 'and I,' listen for 'an-dI,' with the d joining I.
Listen for
At natural speed these words change shape. Tap one to hear it again.
- The last sound of the first word runs straight into the next word.
- The last sound of the first word runs straight into the next word.
- In 'and I,' listen for 'an-dI,' with the d joining I.
Listen for
At natural speed these words change shape. Tap one to hear it again.
- The last sound of the first word runs straight into the next word.
- The last sound of the first word runs straight into the next word.
- In 'and I,' listen for 'an-dI,' with the d joining I.
This clip is longer. Follow the instruction above the answer field.
Listening 4 of 4
Listen, then type the missing words. The rest of the text is already there.
0:00
Read the transcript
Hi Rosa, Ben has finished work early. He and I can move the chairs this afternoon, but we need someone to show us where the tables go. Could you meet him and me at the hall at four? We will bring some water and take a short break before the guests arrive. That should give us enough time to get ready.
He and I offers help as a subject. Him and me follows meet as its object. Listen for the meeting time and the preparation plan as well as the pronouns.
Listen for
At natural speed these words change shape. Tap one to hear it again.
- The last sound of the first word runs straight into the next word.
- In 'and I,' listen for 'an-dI.' The d connects to I.
- The last sound of the first word runs straight into the next word.
Listen for
At natural speed these words change shape. Tap one to hear it again.
- The last sound of the first word runs straight into the next word.
- In 'and I,' listen for 'an-dI.' The d connects to I.
- The last sound of the first word runs straight into the next word.
Listen for
At natural speed these words change shape. Tap one to hear it again.
- The last sound of the first word runs straight into the next word.
- In 'and I,' listen for 'an-dI.' The d connects to I.
- The last sound of the first word runs straight into the next word.
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Save my progressStage 3 of 5
Speak
Say it with the speaker, then use it in your own answer.
Shadow
Say it along with the speaker
He and I can carry these chairs outside.
Play the line slowly, then speak at the same time as the speaker. Copy the rhythm, not just the words.
Your turn
Say it your way
Speak for 30 to 60 seconds from memory about your first swimming class with a male friend. Explain what you plan to learn together and what the teacher does to help both of you.
Use: He and I him and me
Think for ten seconds, then answer out loud for as long as the task above asks, without looking at the lesson. Nothing is sent unless you ask for feedback.
0:00
Hear how someone else might say it
My friend Tom and I are starting swimming classes at the pool near my house. He and I can swim a little, but we want to feel more comfortable in deep water. Our teacher asked him and me to come ten minutes early for our first class. She wants to find out what we can already do. I feel a little nervous, but Tom makes me laugh. We plan to practice every Saturday morning and have breakfast together after we finish.
Try once more and answer this: What part of swimming feels hardest to you?
Stage 4 of 5
Write
Write about your own day or week using it, then write a message.
Write
Put it in your own words
- I used “He and I”.
- It is about my life, not the lesson’s example.
- I read it once aloud to check it sounds right.
Write your own response
Choose a situation and write 30–50 words in your own wording. This is separate from typing the exact words in a recording.
Check your own writing
Read one possible response
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