Micro-listening
Reflexive Pronouns: Choose the Right Form
When should you use reflexive pronouns?
Use reflexive pronouns when the subject and object are the same: 'herself' in 'Nina blamed herself'. Match the form to the subject, such as 'ourselves' with 'we'. Usually omit reflexive pronouns for routine washing or dressing, and never use 'myself' instead of 'me' or 'I' in ordinary sentences.
Key points
- Reflexive pronouns connect an action back to its subject.
- Singular subjects use '-self'; plural subjects use '-selves'.
- Transitive verbs may require a reflexive object.
- Routine hygiene actions usually omit reflexive pronouns.
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At a glance
| Form | Use it for | Example |
|---|---|---|
| myself, yourself, himself, herself, itself | Matches a singular subject receiving its own action | Tara taught herself to knit. |
| ourselves, yourselves, themselves | Matches a plural subject receiving its own action | The players congratulated themselves. |
| me, him, her, us, them | Refers to a different person or group | The coach congratulated them. |
| by + reflexive pronoun | Shows that someone acts alone or without help | Ravi repaired the bike by himself. |
The full explanation
A reflexive pronoun reflects the action of the verb back onto the subject. The subject performs the action, and that same subject receives the result. In English, reflexive pronouns end in -self for singular subjects (myself, yourself, himself, herself, itself) and -selves for plural subjects (ourselves, yourselves, themselves).
David blamed himself for losing the house keys.
Why it works: David is both the person who assigns blame and the person receiving it, so himself is necessary.
3 more examples
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We introduced ourselves to the new director at noon.
The subject we performs the greeting, and the same group is being introduced, requiring ourselves.
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Claire taught herself how to edit videos.
Claire acted as both the instructor and the student, making the reflexive pronoun herself appropriate.
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The automated vacuum cleaner turned itself off after finishing the carpet.
The singular non-human subject takes itself to show the machine acted upon its own system.
Read the full guide
Try the listening exercise
Check Whether the Subject and Object Are the Same Entity
When you write or speak an English sentence, ask who performs the action and who receives it. If the subject and the object refer to two distinct people, use a standard object pronoun such as me, him, or them. However, when the person doing the action is identical to the person affected by that action, English requires a reflexive pronoun. Choosing between him and himself depends entirely on this relationship.
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Daniel congratulated himself after passing the driving exam.
Why it works: Daniel is both the person offering congratulations and the person receiving them.
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Daniel congratulated him after passing the driving exam.
Why it works: Daniel congratulated another male person, so the sentence uses the standard pronoun him.
Your turn
In the sentence 'Sarah reminded ___ about the morning appointment', which pronoun is correct if Sarah did not remind anyone else?
Answer: herself
Show the answer
Answer: herself
Because Sarah gave the reminder to her own person, the reflexive pronoun herself is required.
Select the Pronoun Form That Matches the Subject
Reflexive pronouns have distinct singular and plural forms that must agree grammatically with the subject. Singular subjects use pronouns ending with -self, including myself, yourself, himself, herself, and itself. Plural subjects require the ending -selves, producing ourselves, yourselves, and themselves. Notice that yourself addresses one individual, whereas yourselves addresses two or more people. Using an incorrect plural ending like ourself or themself is considered nonstandard in formal English writing.
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The team members organized themselves into two discussion groups.
Why it works: The subject members is plural, which requires the plural reflexive pronoun themselves.
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The printer restarted itself following the system update.
Why it works: The singular non-human subject printer pairs with the singular reflexive form itself.
You can practise this again in Possessive Determiners: Choose the Right Form and Future perfect or continuous: Choose the right form.
Your turn
Which sentence uses the correct plural reflexive pronoun?
Answer: We prepared ourselves for the upcoming inspection.
Show the answer
Answer: We prepared ourselves for the upcoming inspection.
The subject we is plural, so it must pair with ourselves ending in -selves.
Identify Verbs That Require a Reflexive Object
Certain English verbs are transitive, which means they must have an object to complete their sentence structure. Verbs such as introduce, blame, hurt, enjoy, teach, and prepare often demand an explicit receiver. If you say 'I enjoyed at the party' or 'She introduced to the group', the sentence feels incomplete to a native listener. When no other person receives the action, you must supply the matching reflexive pronoun to complete the verb phrase.
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The new accountant introduced herself before the presentation.
Why it works: The verb introduce needs an object, and herself shows she introduced her own person.
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We enjoyed ourselves during the weekend retreat.
Why it works: Enjoy requires an object in English; ourselves supplies the necessary reflexive recipient.
Your turn
Why is 'The runner hurt during the marathon' incomplete in English?
Answer: The verb hurt needs an object to indicate who was injured, such as hurt himself.
Show the answer
Answer: The verb hurt needs an object to indicate who was injured, such as hurt himself.
Hurt is transitive in this context and requires an object showing who received the injury.
Omit the Reflexive Pronoun with Common Personal Routines
Many European and Latin American languages attach reflexive pronouns to everyday personal care routines like washing, dressing, and shaving. In English, these actions are already understood as being performed on oneself. Native speakers say 'I washed and shaved before work' rather than 'I washed myself and shaved myself'. You should only add a reflexive pronoun to these verbs when you want to emphasize unusual effort, physical rehabilitation, or independence.
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After exercising, Lucas showered and changed before breakfast.
Why it works: Routine personal hygiene actions omit the reflexive pronoun because the receiver is obvious.
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After his shoulder surgery, Lucas can finally dress himself without help.
Why it works: The pronoun himself is included specifically to emphasize physical recovery and self-reliance.
Your turn
Which sentence sounds most natural for an ordinary morning routine?
Answer: I shaved, washed, and had coffee.
Show the answer
Answer: I shaved, washed, and had coffee.
Everyday hygiene actions sound most natural without reflexive pronouns when no special emphasis is needed.
Never Substitute Myself for Me or I in Formal Speech
A frequent error in professional emails occurs when speakers use myself in compound phrases to sound polite or sophisticated. Sentences like 'Please email John or myself' or 'Myself and Clara will lead the meeting' are grammatically incorrect. Myself cannot act as a subject, nor can it serve as an object unless I is the subject of the same clause. To choose the correct pronoun, remove the other person and check what sounds natural.
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Please forward the project files to Clara or me.
Why it works: If you remove Clara or, the sentence correctly reads Please forward the project files to me.
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Clara and I will lead the orientation session.
Why it works: The subject pronoun I is required; myself cannot serve as the grammatical subject.
Your turn
Which sentence is grammatically correct for a business email?
Answer: If you have questions, please contact either the director or me.
Show the answer
Answer: If you have questions, please contact either the director or me.
Removing 'either the director or' reveals that 'contact me' is the correct objective form.
Distinguish Between Performing an Action Alone and Reflexive Meaning
Adding the preposition by before a reflexive pronoun creates an idiomatic meaning of alone or without assistance. There is a clear functional distinction between 'She built the cabinet herself', which emphasizes personal effort, and 'She lived by herself', which means she lived alone without housemates. When listening or speaking, notice whether the preposition by is present. Without by, the pronoun simply identifies the recipient of the verb's action or adds direct emphasis.
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The junior technician repaired the server by himself on Saturday.
Why it works: By himself shows that the technician worked alone without assistance from other staff.
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The technician accidentally locked himself out of the server room.
Why it works: Himself is the direct object of locked, showing that the technician was the person locked out.
Your turn
What does the sentence 'Elena solved the coding error by herself' mean?
Answer: Elena solved the error alone without assistance from colleagues.
Show the answer
Answer: Elena solved the error alone without assistance from colleagues.
The phrase 'by herself' specifically communicates that the action was performed without help.
Avoid Reflexive Pronouns with Verbs of Feeling and Motion
Learners frequently translate reflexive constructions directly from their first languages onto English verbs of emotion, mental state, and physical posture. In English, verbs like feel, relax, worry, wonder, remember, sit down, and stand up do not take reflexive pronouns. Saying 'I feel myself nervous' or 'Please relax yourself' sounds unnatural in standard English. These verbs are naturally intransitive when describing a person's inner state or physical movement.
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Take a deep breath and relax before stepping onto the stage.
Why it works: Relax describes an inner physical state and does not take a reflexive pronoun in English.
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Sit down at the table and drink a glass of water.
Why it works: Sit down already implies moving one's own body, so no reflexive pronoun is added.
Your turn
Which sentence correctly expresses a personal feeling in English?
Answer: I feel confident about the interview tomorrow.
Show the answer
Answer: I feel confident about the interview tomorrow.
The verb feel connects directly to the adjective confident without any reflexive pronoun.
Listen for Weakened Pronouns in Connected Speech
In fast conversational speech, native English speakers often reduce the initial sounds of reflexive pronouns, particularly himself and herself. The initial /h/ sound frequently drops after a consonant, causing himself to sound like /ɪmˈsɛlf/ and herself to sound like /ərˈsɛlf/. Because the primary syllable stress falls on the second syllable -self, learners should focus their ears on that stressed syllable rather than listening for a clear /h/ sound at the start.
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Marcus blamed himself for missing the bus.
Why it works: In natural speech, blamed himself blends together as blamed-imself with stress on -self.
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Paula introduced herself to the visitors.
Why it works: Introduced herself links smoothly into introduced-erself with a dropped /h/ sound.
Your turn
What phonetic change often happens to 'himself' in fast conversational speech?
Answer: The initial /h/ sound is often dropped, blending the word with the preceding verb.
Show the answer
Answer: The initial /h/ sound is often dropped, blending the word with the preceding verb.
In connected speech, unstressed pronouns beginning with /h/ often drop the initial consonant.
Common mistakes
What learners often say, what to say instead, and why.
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Not this:
Leo introduced to the visitors.Say: Leo introduced himself to the visitors.
'Introduce' needs an object when Leo introduces his own person.
-
Not this:
We organised ourself for the inspection.Say: We organised ourselves for the inspection.
The plural subject 'we' requires the plural form 'ourselves'.
-
Not this:
Please send the invoice to Helen and myself.Say: Please send the invoice to Helen and me.
'Myself' cannot replace the ordinary object pronoun 'me' here.
-
Not this:
I feel myself nervous before interviews.Say: I feel nervous before interviews.
'Feel' takes the adjective directly when describing a personal state.
Use it naturally
How people really use “Reflexive Pronouns”
Neutral Fine almost anywhere, at work or with friends.
Words it often goes with
- introduce myselfI want to introduce myself to our new neighbor.
- blame himselfHe should not blame himself for the broken window.
- taught herselfMy sister taught herself how to play the guitar.
- prepared ourselvesWe prepared ourselves for a long walk.
What people also say
- “I showered and got dressed.” instead of “I showered myself and dressed myself.”For everyday routines, simple verbs usually sound more natural.
- “Please send it to me.” instead of “Please send it to myself.”Use me because the person sending it is someone else.
Before you go
Remember this
Reflexive pronouns connect the object back to the subject when both are the same entity. Remember to match singular forms with -self and plural forms with -selves. Leave the pronoun out for everyday hygiene routines unless emphasizing complete independence, and never use reflexive pronouns to replace basic object pronouns.
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Listening 1 of 4
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I introduced myself at our weekly team meeting.
Introduced needs a direct object, and myself agrees with the subject I. In speech, the stress falls clearly on -self.
Listen for
At natural speed these words change shape. Tap one to hear it again.
- listen for "mysel-fat": the final f in myself links to at without a pause.
- The last sound of the first word runs straight into the next word.
- In American English this t sounds like a quick, soft d.
Listen for
At natural speed these words change shape. Tap one to hear it again.
- listen for "mysel-fat": the final f in myself links to at without a pause.
- The last sound of the first word runs straight into the next word.
- In American English this t sounds like a quick, soft d.
Listening 2 of 4
Listen, then type what you hear. Replay as often as you need.
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Read the transcript
Marcus bought himself an espresso during lunch.
Himself acts as the indirect object showing Marcus bought the coffee for his own benefit. The following vowel sound in 'an espresso' ensures clear pronunciation.
Listen for
At natural speed these words change shape. Tap one to hear it again.
- listen for "himsel-fan": the final f in himself joins the start of an.
- The last sound of the first word runs straight into the next word.
- The final t or d is barely said before the next consonant.
Listen for
At natural speed these words change shape. Tap one to hear it again.
- listen for "himsel-fan": the final f in himself joins the start of an.
- The last sound of the first word runs straight into the next word.
- The final t or d is barely said before the next consonant.
Listen for
At natural speed these words change shape. Tap one to hear it again.
- The last sound of the first word runs straight into the next word.
- The final t or d is barely said before the next consonant.
Try a longer clip. Listen once, then replay the part you missed.
Listening 3 of 4
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Read the transcript
Before serving the hot soup, Sofia checked herself in a small wall mirror and adjusted her clean apron.
Sofia checks her own reflection, requiring herself. The pronoun is followed by the vowel in 'in', creating smooth connected speech.
Listen for
At natural speed these words change shape. Tap one to hear it again.
- listen for "hersel-fin": the final f in herself joins the start of in.
- The last sound of the first word runs straight into the next word.
- The last sound of the first word runs straight into the next word.
Listen for
At natural speed these words change shape. Tap one to hear it again.
- The last sound of the first word runs straight into the next word.
- The last sound of the first word runs straight into the next word.
- The last sound of the first word runs straight into the next word.
Listen for
At natural speed these words change shape. Tap one to hear it again.
- listen for "hersel-fin": the final f in herself joins the start of in.
- The last sound of the first word runs straight into the next word.
- The last sound of the first word runs straight into the next word.
This clip is longer. Follow the instruction above the answer field.
Listening 4 of 4
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Read the transcript
The new lab assistants divided themselves into small teams before nine o'clock. Each group assigned a leader, reviewed a safety checklist, and cleaned an open workbench. Because our director gave no extra instructions, they solved every technical problem by themselves in an orderly way.
This passage contrasts divided themselves (where themselves is the direct object) with by themselves (an idiomatic prepositional phrase meaning alone or without assistance).
Listen for
At natural speed these words change shape. Tap one to hear it again.
- The last sound of the first word runs straight into the next word.
- listen for "themselve-sinto": the final sound in themselves links to into.
- The last sound of the first word runs straight into the next word.
Listen for
At natural speed these words change shape. Tap one to hear it again.
- The last sound of the first word runs straight into the next word.
- listen for "themselve-sinto": the final sound in themselves links to into.
- The last sound of the first word runs straight into the next word.
Listen for
At natural speed these words change shape. Tap one to hear it again.
- The last sound of the first word runs straight into the next word.
- listen for "themselve-sinto": the final sound in themselves links to into.
- The last sound of the first word runs straight into the next word.
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Say it your way
Imagine you and your neighbors organized a picnic in a community garden. Speak for 30 to 60 seconds from memory about meeting new neighbors, sharing the food, and what everyone did during the afternoon.
Use: myself ourselves themselves
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Hear how someone else might say it
Last Saturday, we had a picnic in our community garden. I introduced myself to a couple who had just moved to our street. They brought some delicious bread, and I brought a big salad. We helped ourselves to the food and sat under a tree. The children enjoyed themselves while they played with a ball. Later, I found myself talking to a neighbor about her vegetable garden. Everyone helped clean the tables before leaving. I would love to meet there again next month.
Try once more and answer this: Who did you enjoy talking to most?
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I introduced myself at our weekly team meeting.
Play the line slowly, then speak at the same time as the speaker. Copy the rhythm, not just the words.
Write
Put it in your own words
- I used “Reflexive Pronouns”.
- It is about my life, not the lesson’s example.
- I read it once aloud to check it sounds right.
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Reflexive Pronouns: Choose the Right Form
Identify when an English verb requires a reflexive pronoun, match the pronoun to the subject, and avoid using reflexive forms where everyday English uses standard pronouns or simple verbs.
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Questions about "Reflexive Pronouns: Choose the Right Form"
When should I use me instead of myself?
Use me as an ordinary object when another person performs the action. Use myself only when the subject is I and you are acting upon yourself. In compound phrases such as my boss and me, remove the other person to test the sentence: you would say The manager phoned me, so you say The manager phoned my boss and me.
The supervisor assigned the report to Liam and me.
I prepared myself for the difficult interview.
Why is I feel myself tired incorrect in English?
Verbs expressing states, feelings, or involuntary physical sensations like feel, relax, hurry, and wonder do not take reflexive pronouns in standard English. These verbs already convey personal experience. Adding a reflexive pronoun sounds unnatural and translates word for word from languages like Spanish, French, or Russian.
I felt tired after walking up the steep hill.
We need to hurry or we will miss the train.
What does the phrase by myself mean?
Adding the preposition by before a reflexive pronoun means alone or without any assistance from other people. In contrast, using a reflexive pronoun directly after a transitive verb shows who receives the action. For instance, living by myself means living alone, while introducing myself means telling people your name.
Sanjay assembled the heavy wardrobe by himself.
I lived by myself during my final year at university.
Do verbs like wash, shave, and dress need reflexive pronouns?
Personal hygiene routines usually omit reflexive pronouns in everyday English because the action is obviously done to the speaker. Say I washed and got dressed before breakfast. Include the pronoun only when emphasizing independence, such as when a toddler learns to dress without adult help.
Oliver washed and shaved before going to work.
The three-year-old child dressed herself for the first time.
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